XSPB FYG (For Your Guidance)

Touching A Kid’s Life

GS Guidance Department

Posted Monday, 27-Nov-2006 12:04 PM

      There are alarmingly so many things that can keep us away from kids these days. We cannot quite keep that regular time to sit down and simply get in touch with them. Kids, in turn, have several distractions on their own - their own friends, the media, the malls, the cafes and almost anything else these days. It can seem like they would rather be in front of a computer monitor or be out with friends in their gimmicks rather than stay home. If one thinks about it, the modern times is bringing the family farther apart. That is only if the family itself allows it to.

      Parents are often encouraged to seize each moment they can with their children. Taking time to get to know them better can take time and effort which can be precious for highly-busy parents. But the priceless reward of establishing a relationship stays with the parent and child for a lifetime.
We in the Grade School Guidance Department have collated some important tips in not only getting to know your kids better but also in touching their lives.

Be Involved in Schoolwork

      This tip does not translate into tutoring your own kids although personally-attending to their academic needs each day can be very helpful in establishing that bond between you. An important caution to keep in mind is that you should always make your child feel that schoolwork is his responsibility more than anyone else’s. Parents are supposed to just guide, motivate and assist if needed. The important trait of being independent is what we want to nurture as the kids are growing up. It might be helpful to include personal heart-to-heart talks of this nature as you sit with your child each day regarding school.

      Another way to interpret this important tip is to use schoolwork as a springboard to get to know your child better. For instance, one can use the topics taken up in school to know what’s in your child’s heart and mind. Students have workbooks in Guidance Period which can be used for this purpose. If your son is in the lower grades, you can refer to his workbooks which actually yield a lot of information about him. In the upper grades, there are important topics which parents can actually help take up at home. These would be such topics as Human Sexuality, Career, Drug Education and the like. Do pay a visit to your Guidance Counselor for help if you have specific difficulties on these topics.

Be Your Child’s Friend

      Nothing is as important as your role as parent to your child although there are very important concerns that surround this role of yours which you have to realistically attend to. Always reflect on the quantity and quality of time you spend with him. There is no precise formula to tell you how well and how much time should be spent with him. What is more important is what you have made your child feel in your interactions with him. Be personal in your conversations and make him feel you appreciate his presence so that he can feel the same way. Go down to your son’s level if you have to. Spend bonding sessions on hobbies and preoccupations which your son enjoys. It is also good to share with him something about yourself and introduce him to hobbies you especially like which might interest him.
Talking about family history and your own personal history is an excellent topic for bonding. Sometimes these topics are actually taken up in school and it would surely make your child more confident that he knows a lot about his own family.

      During your dialogues, it is important to affirm your son’s feelings. Feelings do not hold any value judgment but they reveal a lot about his disposition and attitude. They point to deeper truths you might want to know. It is also important to respect your son’s personal space. Give him a venue to form the person you are getting to know. Distance yourself in such a way that you can still guide him but not necessarily take over his life.

Other Helpful Tips

      Here are other important tips to help improve your relationship with your Xaverian son…

X – (e)xamples of ways on how to improve parent-child relations:
A – cceptance : that a person learns from one’s experiences given the    

                        proper guidance.
V – ersatility : in recognizing one’s unique character and personhood.
E – mpathy : unconditional love and understanding despite shortcomings.
R – espect : for a person’s right to express one’s feelings and point of view.
I - nitiative : to forgive and ask for forgiveness.
A – spire : to devote and spend quality time with your loved one
N – urture : an open line of communication
S – pirituality : a time to thank God for a wonderful family.
          

                                                                Karen Austria, Prep Counselor

     Your son will only be young once. Never overlook this important time for the two of you to establish a strong bond. Your son is a gift to you as much as you are to him.

     “If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.”
        

                                                                 - Brian Tracy

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