XSPB FEATURE

The Purpose-Driven Family: A Family with a Vision and Mission
Abbie Sandico, Parent

Posted Tuesday, 19-Sep-2006 2:46 PM

     On a late afternoon trip going to Pampanga, we chanced upon flocks of wild ducks flying in V formations. My kids were amazed by the seemingly-organized way they were formed, much like military aircrafts performing stunts. My youngest daughter was awed to learn that there is actually a reason why ducks fly in a V formation. I explained that as each bird flaps its wings, it creates uplift for the one that follows it. This way, the whole flock achieves an extra flying range. When the lead duck gets tired, it drifts back into formation and another moves to the lead position so that they all benefit from the extra lift. Nature often has the perfect model. These birds were working together for a common purpose. If families worked this way, united towards achieving a common purpose, then each family member can benefit from that “extra lift” and achieve that extra flying range.

     Living in our fast-paced, option-filled, material-centered world today can often obscure one’s purpose. But as the song of Jamie Rivera entitled “Purpose Driven Life” so aptly puts it:

“Let us begin to live this life. Let us together seek its purpose.

Life is not a pointless venture. Eternity is for sure.

Open up and receive this truth in your hearts:

That God was smiling at your birth and has a purpose for your life.”

     Teaching our kids to live their lives with a purpose at an early age will familiarize them to their calling and will make their personal purpose more discernible as they grow older. In his widely read book “The Purpose Driven Life”, Rick Warren states that, “If you want to know why you were placed on this planet, you must begin with God. You were born by His purpose and for His purpose. You were shaped to serve God.” Often, our purpose as individuals or as a family is not something esoteric out there. God has placed it deep within us. You could say we were “custom-designed” to serve His purpose. Many people find that their purpose lies at the intersection of three areas: their talents and abilities, their interests and passions, and their experiences. While it's not a perfect formula, it is a good place to search for God’s purpose for your family. What is your purpose? What is that constant in your life, that long range goal that will keep you from being distracted by your short range failures? What is that extra lift that you can contribute to others thereby giving meaning to your existence?

     My family wrote our first purpose statement in 2001, on a Shakey’s Pizza paper napkin. It stated simply “We are a family who prays together, works hard at our given tasks, shares with others, and plays together”. It seemed a very simple definition of how we envisioned our family life to be but through the succeeding days and months, we realized our purpose statement actually propelled us to do better at what we were tasked to do. Our kids now approached their studies with a new meaning. When one would go through his “Monday Morning Blues” (♪ I don’t want to go to school ♪♫♪) it was easy for anyone to point out that we had been blessed with a happy weekend to “play” together as a family but we needed the balance in our lives to better ourselves, make our contribution to society, and thus needed the weekdays to work together as a family: the kids on their studies, mommy and daddy at their offices.

     Each year as we reviewed our purpose statement, a new facet of our purpose unfolded. And along the way, our purpose statement gave us focus and allowed us to simplify our lives and eliminate those things that were not necessary. Today, our purpose statement has evolved to this:

     “We are a family rooted in the Lord. We will love one another and create happy moments together, we will labor to fully utilize our God-given talents and resources, we will lead others to God, we will be a light to others in their darkness by sharing our talents and blessings, and we will live each day in thanksgiving for all the blessings that God has given.”

     We visited a friend in their new home recently and I noticed that posted in different areas of their beautifully joyful home is their family purpose statement and I’ve asked their permission to share it with you:

“What we’d like to be,

is a happy family.

Strong in trials, rain or shine,

Helping to make all things fine.

Knowing how to say “I’m sorry.”

Making peace and showing mercy.

Serving each other out of love,

Singing praises to God above.

Spending time to play and pray,

Loving each other, come what may.

Respecting each other day and night,

Standing up for what is right.

Grateful for the blessings that come

Working hard ‘til the chores are done.

A family that is giving and caring,

Forever proclaiming… “Jesus is King!”

That is what we’d like to be

As the Cruz Family.

     As with ducks, our purpose brings our whole family into a V formation – all of us working for the whole. Your purpose could change the world, it could change life. It could be an eloquently-written poem or a simple statement written in a Shakey’s paper napkin. It doesn’t really matter. There is no competition. As we start to live our purpose in the world, we acknowledge God as the center of our lives and we live in thanksgiving for this life He has given us. As we start to live our purpose, we create an updraft for those around us, creating an extra lift. We literally become generators of community. As we live our purpose, we are saying yes to God’s higher purpose for ourselves and others, for humanity as a whole. A wise man once said, "If you want to see the strength of a nation, look at the strength of its families."

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