Someone once asked me what the 2004 “vice scene” for our teenaged sons in Xavier would be like. I predict that it will not be much different from what it was for us, when we were growing up a generation ago. And yes, it will probably not be too different even for our children’s children when their turn comes.

      ALCOHOL, CIGARETTES, SEX, DRUGS or BANNED SUBSTANCES, and GAMBLING - they are not called “vices” for nothing! They have been around long before we were born and will still be around long after we are gone.

      In some cases, so-called “vices” were gifts that ended up being abused by the user, hence, the vice “appellation”. Alcohol is one thing where both western and oriental medicine agrees that “controlled, moderate imbibing”, i.e., one drink a day, is beneficial for one’s health. Of course, that is easier said than done, especially when one is vying to be the “hollow leg” champion.

      In other cases, especially fickle fad and fashion, our children will look at one thing from totally different perspectives. For example, for the “hair” issue during the ‘70s, it was a question of how long to grow it or how many months of waiting before going for the next haircut to be “groovy”. Nowadays, it is a matter of how short to grow it or how often one should get a haircut to be “cool”. The same applies to trouser bottoms: how tight or “pipes” are they or loose or flared should they be?

      How all these things suddenly take on an exaggerated importance for teenagers is not surprising. After all, the teenage years are not called the “wonder years” for a reason. They are or could probably be one of the most exciting times in one’s life. It is an age of growth spurts and intellectual stimuli, of freedom and discovery, of experimentation and rebellion, of conforming to, challenging or questioning society’s mores, traditions and values.

      It is characterized by raging hormones, “curiosity-killed-the-cat” inquisitiveness, the need to find or establish one’s identity amidst incredible peer pressure, yet full of opportunities to explore. Normal behavior gives way to “abnormal” or rowdy behavior. “Who cares? We are teenagers!” seems to be the teenagers’ battle cry no matter how seemingly irresponsible or amoral it may sound.

      Why are today’s teenagers radically different? They are more “empowered” now more than before, for better or worse, to “self-actualize” or give their parents nervous breakdowns! It would indeed be good for them, and less painful to us parents, to listen to Spidey’s admonition that - “With great power comes great responsibility!”

“With great power comes great responsibility!”

      The teenager today is blessed with an unparalleled chance of growing up in a wonderfully liberal and technologically advanced period. No more clunky, un-air-conditioned automobiles for them! Consider too the march of science. During our time, the calculator was already considered a technological marvel. Color TV was short of a miracle! Today, the array of technological and scientific gadgets seems endless: GPS, cellular phones, powerful but portable computers, “Wifi” instead of “hifi”, blue tooth, and many more amazing “toys”.

      It seems that practically any question could be answered via the net. No longer do they have to face the prospect of experiencing the stifling sexual prudishness but they will instead find that sexual openness that is foisted on them.

      In the “old days”, the worst that could happen to you when you had unprotected sex was that you’d get the “clap”. Today, you foul up and you die! The consequences have become so dire that in North America , teenagers have taken to signing contracts to refrain from any sex until marriage!

      How many parents have raised the red flag about the “unbridled exaltation of sex”? Sex is everywhere and everyday our children are bombarded with in-your-face commercials, dreadful “reality TV shows” that, ironically, are not realistic at all and of which “The 5 th Wheel” is the worst, misogynistic MTV videos that do nothing but degrade women, and innumerable uncensored shows on Cable TV. Chances are that a parent talking to his kid about sex today will still find it awkward and comfortable, brought about perhaps by his own memories of his pubescent days.

      Our children are also growing up in a time of relative affluence. After consecutive generations of frugality and discipline, when most were merely eking out a livelihood, these have been replaced with opportunities to amassing, i.e. depending on your ability, a small if not sizeable fortune.

      Mass media, in all its power, also persuades the malleable minds of the youth every minute to consume, either overtly and covertly, tobacco, alcohol and everything else using direct or subliminal images with relentless reinforcement to do so. What message is being sent when even a seemingly innocuous proposition such as a professional sports team carries the name of a popular alcoholic beverage?

And let us pray not to raise them to become people who know “the cost of everything, but the value of nothing”.

      So even if one does not drink, one already associates the drink with a sport, a certain lifestyle. When the team wins, the message is that this is the drink, or at the very least, “the choice of champions!”

      Is this reality? And what have we done about it? Have we ever talked to our children about the sinister tentacles of advertising?

      The loss of innocence today has come at a terribly high price. It seems that there is no such thing as a “friendly wager” anymore. The betting scene today has become such an epidemic that it has warranted attention not only from the much-respected and heavy-hitting Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism but also by other tele-magazine shows. However, it appears that we are just scratching the tip of the iceberg!

      If I have painted a “scary picture”, it is not because I believe that these are dark times for our children to find themselves in, but that it would be absolutely irresponsible and unaccountable for us not to talk and communicate with our children as much as possible, to listen more than we talk, to admit that we do not know all the answers, and that there is so much for us to discover together with our children, our wealth – they certainly deserve a helping hand to navigate life’s troubled waters.

      And let us pray not to raise them to become people who know “the cost of everything, but the value of nothing”.

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